Step 1:
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As citizens of New York City, we were born with the understanding that we are superior. |
Step 2:
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We realized that there is no place greater than New York City; the rest of the world is totally barbaric. |
Step 3:
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We became adept at manipulating as many people as possible into turning their
lives over to our management, even though they may not fully understand our talent. |
Step 4:
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We made a complete and fearless moral inventory of every acquaintance, no matter how small. |
Step 5:
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We publicly proclaimed the exact nature of their ignorance and their mistakes. |
Step 6:
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We assumed our natural role of reminding everyone else how to straighten up and fly right. |
Step 7:
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We demanded that people who were unable to accept our guidance either shape up or ship out. |
Step 8:
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We made a list of all persons who had harmed us, and we became willing to do just about anything
to get rid of them all. |
Step 9:
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We took revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would endanger our
own lives or increase our odds of spending serious time in jail. |
Step 10:
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We continued to take the moral inventory of others, and when they were wrong, we promptly
and repeatedly informed them about it. |
Step 11:
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We sought through complaining and nagging to compel others to submit to our will, asking
only that they cave in, knuckle under, and do things our way. |
Step 12:
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Having had a complete emotional breakdown as a result of these steps, we blamed it all on our "Higher Power", AND THEN
WE MOVED TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! |